All these goddamn romantic comedies are always about the uptight, OCD guy and he always moves in with the crazy girl. SHE’S FUCKING CRAZY. But it’s always the safe, Hollywood version of crazy like “She keeps her ferret on a leash” or “She arranges her albums in an orange crate. SHE’S NUTS!” I’ve dated crazy. That’s not crazy. “Crazy” is her awake at 3 A.M. carving your initials into her wrist with a bobby pin. You’re like, “What the fuck are you doing?!” She goes, “This way I’ll cum when you’re punching me!